When a Woman “Covers” a Man

1 Samuel 25

Introduction: Much is written and spoken about the concept of “covering” in the Bible. Much of what is said in this context is about submission to authority, particularly women submitting to men. However, I don’t find a consistent theme in Scripture that warrants this teaching. In fact, there are many examples in Scripture of women “covering” men and of men submitting to women.

What does it mean to “cover” someone? Though I do not subscribe to this teaching, the impression I have is that it means God has designated men to be in authority over women, and in that sense, to be their protection. On a closer examination, I find there is much to say for women “covering” men.

Women “cover” men in the most vulnerable years of their lives: when they are infants and young boys growing up. If a woman has enough strength and wisdom to protect, nurture and train a boy to become a man, surely she has the spiritual authority to continue to speak into his life once he is a man?

Women “cover” men through their examples of Godliness, through intercession, by sharing wisdom from God’s word, and through acts of obedience when God speaks to them. Indeed, the Bible is filled with examples of Godly women instructing men, counseling men, nurturing men, and standing side by side with them in crisis and decision making.

It is my belief that just as surely as God did away with the hierarchical Old Testament priesthood in the New Covenant, so he has done away with the hierarchical and dominating ways of men relating to women in the New Covenant. If spiritual authority is relational in nature, then both men and women can exercise spiritual authority. Just as there are equally valuable roles for both a man and woman to play in nurturing a family, so there are equally vital roles for men and women to play in nurturing God’s family, the church. That doesn’t mean women ministering to women. Because Jesus taught that spiritual authority comes from serving, not titles or positions, both men and women exercise spiritual authority in the church, to the degree that they are Godly and mature.

The church is not a man made institution, but an extension of the trinity, the family in heaven made up of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. All three members of the trinity are equally God. They are equal in value and authority, though distinct in personality and role. So it is to be in the way men and women relate to one another in earthly families.

No story in the Bible makes it clearer that men and women have equally valuable roles than the example of Abigail and David.

Excerpts From The Story of David and Abigail: 

There was a certain man in the region of Carmel. He was very prosperous—three thousand sheep and a thousand goats, and it was sheep-shearing time in Carmel. The man’s name was Nabal (Fool), and his wife’s name was Abigail. The woman was intelligent and good-looking, the man brutish and mean.

David, out in the backcountry, heard that Nabal was shearing his sheep and sent ten of his young men off with these instructions: “Go to Carmel and approach Nabal. Greet him in my name, ‘Peace!

…I heard that it’s sheep-shearing time. Here’s the point: When your shepherds were camped near us we didn’t take advantage of them. They didn’t lose a thing all the time they were with us in Carmel. Ask your young men—they’ll tell you. What I’m asking is that you be generous with my men—share the feast! Give whatever your heart tells you to your servants and to me, David your son.’”

David’s young men went and delivered his message word for word to Nabal. Nabal tore into them, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? The country is full of runaway servants these days.

Do you think I’m going to take good bread and wine and meat freshly butchered for my sheepshearers and give it to men I’ve never laid eyes on? Who knows where they’ve come from?”

David’s men got out of there and went back and told David what he had said. David said, “Strap on your swords!” They all strapped on their swords, David and his men, and set out, four hundred of them. Two hundred stayed behind to guard the camp.

Meanwhile, one of the young shepherds told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, what had happened: “David sent messengers from the backcountry to salute our master, but he tore into them with insults. Yet these men treated us very well. They took nothing from us and didn’t take advantage of us all the time we were in the fields.

They formed a wall around us, protecting us day and night all the time we were out tending the sheep…

Abigail flew into action. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five sheep dressed out and ready for cooking, a bushel of roasted grain, a hundred raisin cakes, and two hundred fig cakes, and she had it all loaded on some donkeys…Then she said to her young servants, “Go ahead and pave the way for me. I’m right behind you.” But she said nothing to her husband Nabal.

As she was riding her donkey, descending into a ravine, David and his men were descending from the other end, so they met there on the road. David had just said, “That sure was a waste, guarding everything this man had out in the wild so that nothing he had was lost—and now he rewards me with insults. A real slap in the face! May God do his worst to me if Nabal and every cur in his misbegotten brood isn’t dead meat by morning!” No sooner had David said these words, than he met Abigail on the road.

As soon as Abigail saw David, she got off her donkey and fell on her knees at his feet, her face to the ground in homage, saying, “My master, let me take the blame! Let me speak to you. Listen to what I have to say. Don’t dwell on what that brute Nabal did. He acts out the meaning of his name: Nabal, Fool. Foolishness oozes from him…And now, my master, as GOD lives and as you live, GOD has kept you from this avenging murder—and may your enemies, all who seek my master’s harm, end up like Nabal! Now take this gift that I, your servant girl, have brought to my master, and give it to the young men who follow in the steps of my master…

David said, “Blessed be GOD, the God of Israel. He sent you to meet me! And blessed be your good sense! Bless you for keeping me from murder and taking charge of looking out for me.

A close call! As GOD lives, the God of Israel who kept me from hurting you, if you had not come as quickly as you did, stopping me in my tracks, by morning there would have been nothing left of Nabal but dead meat.”

Then David accepted the gift she brought him and said, “Return home in peace. I’ve heard what you’ve said and I’ll do what you’ve asked.”

When Abigail got home she found Nabal presiding over a huge banquet. He was in high spirits—and very, very drunk. So she didn’t tell him anything of what she’d done until morning. But in the morning, after Nabal had sobered up, she told him the whole story. Right then and there he had a heart attack and fell into a coma. About ten days later GOD finished him off and he died.

When David heard that Nabal was dead he said, “Blessed be GOD who has stood up for me against Nabal’s insults, kept me from an evil act, and let Nabal’s evil boomerang back on him.” Then David sent for Abigail to tell her that he wanted her for his wife. David’s servants went to Abigail at Carmel with the message, “David sent us to bring you to marry him.” She then bowed down, face to the ground, saying, “I’m your servant, ready to do anything you want. I’ll even wash the feet of my master’s servants!”

Abigail didn’t linger. She got on her donkey and, with her five maids in attendance, went with the messengers to David and became his wife.” 1 Samuel 25:2-42 Adapted from The Message

Lessons For Personal Application:

1. Any man or woman can act a fool. Nabal was a descendent of Caleb but he did not possess the strengths of his great ancestor (1Sam. 25:3). Foolish behavior is a result of a lack of the fear of God (see 1 Samuel 26:21). Saul became a fool in how he treated David. You and I can become fools if we do not spend time daily with the Lord, seeking his counsel and soaking in his word. Humility, bathed in the wisdom of God’s word, is God’s antidote to becoming a fool.
2. Abigail’s actions and communication is an example of Godly wisdom. He name means, “my father’s joy.” We can bring joy to our earthly and heavenly fathers if we study and emulate Abigail’s life. Abigail was a woman of “good understanding.” She acted boldly when it was time to act, she showed respect for others, she exhibited discretion and wisdom in her communication, she knew the difference between the right thing to do and the right time to do it, and she was direct and honest. She interceded for her husband. She took risks. She was not afraid to sacrifice her life for what she believed in.
3. Abigail understood there was a time to speak and a time to be silent. 1 Samuel 25:18 says she did not tell Nabal what she had done on his behalf until the right time. Wise leaders know when to speak and when to be silent. They discern the difference between the right thing to do and the right time to do it.
4. Abigail was discreet. She was careful to avoid embarrassing or upsetting her husband unnecessarily; she was careful not to reveal confidences; she was subtle and circumspect, ensuring that no undue attention was attracted to herself, yet bold and forthright when she needed to be. She was courageous and yet not ostentatious or flashy.
5. Abigail was a courageous intercessor. He plea for Nabal’s life to David is found in 1 Samuel 25:24-31 is filled with wisdom and is a great model for how to appeal to leaders and those in authority.

Personal Illustration:

I am married to a beautiful and understanding woman, an Abigail in her own right. I have been protected from many foolish mistakes by the wisdom of my wife, Sally. Just recently I made a decision to gloss over a serious difference with a close friend. Sally shared her disagreement with me, yet did so with wise and kind words. She was bold, spoke from her heart, and appealed to me to reconsider. When I reflected on what Sally said, I found my own heart identifying completely with her. I have denied my own feelings for the sake of superficial unity with a close friend. I didn’t want to open a wound. But it was Sally who put her finger on some deeper issues we needed to work through. Because of her honesty, and because she communicated with such wisdom, she protected me from a serious mistake. I am grateful for such a Godly wife and partner in life and ministry. It is such a gift to have a Godly friend and wife to journey through life together.

Prayer of Response:

Dear Lord Jesus, please teach me to honor and submit to others you bring into my life. Please give me the grace to see you in others, no matter if they are male or female, black or white, young or old. I choose today to receive from all those you bring into my life. I need others, Lord. I repent from pride of seeing myself as automatically “over” certain people. I repent from looking down on people. I especially ask you to forgive me for wrong attitudes toward women. Heal this part of my life, I pray. Reveal the attitudes and beliefs in me that are not pleasing to you, dear Father. In your name I pray, amen.